Never Give Up on Something You Can't Go a Day Without Thinking About

Marathon training is brutal, there is no other way to put it.  Combine that with a Type A, impatient, run-aholic and if you're on the outside it can look like a train wreck.  A train wreck, that is exactly how my training for the Portland Marathon has felt lately.Currently I am sitting at nine weeks out and barely thirty miles a week.  The plan had been to be running upwards of 40 miles a week by this point and incorporating speed work on a weekly basis.  Well I am a bit behind schedule and this is something that is very difficult for me to swallow.  This overwhelmed feeling of unpreparedness (yes I am aware that there are still nine weeks to prepare so the ridiculousness of this statement is a bit large) hit a wall this past Saturday when for what felt like the millionth time in a row my planned 8 miles turned into barely making it 5 miles, feeling as though I was running through sludge, basically imagine the last couple miles of a marathon and there you have it.

As the past couple weeks have felt a lot like this I had been seriously contemplating just throwing in the towel in regards to the Portland Marathon.  On that particular day I had never considered it more.

As is the world we live in today I reached out to my social media family in regards to how do you know when its enough?  I was honored by overwhelming support, strength, and motivation that was given me and I wanted to share a couple with you:

Not every run need to be the best one. Just believe and train. @tri_fede

Darling, marathon training is a roller coaster...If you are 4 weeks in it sounds race day is still out there.  Don't pull the plug yet.  Listen to you body, yes, but mine tends to lie to me at times. @lifeasarunningmom

...So the early weeks are tough but that is necessary as you get stronger.  Once you are over that hump, is all good.  So long as you aren't injured, I would encourage you to persevere.  As I have read, never give up on something you cannot go a day without thinking about. @climbhighermountains

Each and every person had a story, had a belief, and shared a strength or a way that they had found strength; for them to share I am grateful because it helped to put my mind back into perspective.

Running is tough.  It is mentally, physically, and emotionally taxing and there are many days where I ask myself why in the world do I do what I do. Because as @climbhighermountains put it, "never give up on something you cannot go a day without thinking about" and for me running is just that.  It is the thing I look forward to most at the end of the day, well except for seeing my amazing fiance, and it is something I cannot go a day without waiting for my opportunity to go run.

So is there a chance that the Portland Marathon may not be in my books, of course because I will not ruin my body just to finish a race as I have a lot of other plans.  However, is it time to throw in the towel? HELL NO!!

It was just time for a serious attitude adjustment on my part.  Time to remember that marathon training is a journey and all journey's have ups and downs.  Will every run from here on out be great, most likely not because we all know how much running can suck sometimes.  But I will be continuing to chase a dream and chasing one doing something that I love.

Thank you to everyone out there who follows along with my craziness and for all the encouragement and support you've given me.  Sometimes we all just need a big kick in the butt to remember why we do something; thank you for kicking mine.